Accepting Myself through Body Pain
As a practitioner who has many tools in her toolbox to help others, sometimes I forget how to help myself. However, thankfully, the recent weeks have required me to remember to do just that. Up until now, I didn’t put a huge amount of significance on body pain. I would tend to an ache with minimal effort and it would eventually go away. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case the last several weeks. I am used to having emotional pain but not so much body pain. As a result, I have had to learn to acquiesce to my body and its needs.
As I do when I am moving through an emotional upset; during this physical upset, I have been asking myself, “What happened? What is my part in this?” Many responses have come to me. The most current and compassionate one is, “It’s just life.” When I sit with this response it takes the pressure off to do something other than to take care of myself. There is no longer a drive to get to the bottom of what caused the pain. There is nothing more to do but allow my body to heal and follow its process instead of my agenda.
I am used to just popping an ibuprofen and calling it good. However, nowadays, I prefer natural ways of healing so it has been a challenge to understand what my body needs to get better. Thankfully, friends and helpers have crossed my path with advice that has helped tremendously. The healing process has taken longer but I feel good about getting to know my body in a more comprehensive way.
Moving through this physical pain has brought up many emotions around being a normal, functioning adult. First, I now have a deeper understanding, respect and empathy for those who live with chronic pain everyday of their lives. A part of me has been afraid that the physical pain I have been experiencing isn’t going to go away. Second, I have felt shame around not being able to look and move like a “normal” adult. With every passer-by, I have felt embarrassed to be limping so slowly along. Last, I have more respect and appreciation for my body as it shows me the pain and strives to heal. I have felt sad and discouraged as I have used walls and furniture to steady myself when I am so used to just moving with ease.
The tools I have used to move through the pain have been good ol’ rest, allowing my feelings, ace bandages, other resources that support body movement, tapping, and time. The journey has helped me reach even more acceptance for my body, its age, and its limitations. Now it is just a matter of learning how to support it in the best ways possible.
